Portfolio, Throwbacks

Gourmet Foods–Not So Gourmet After All

PET CENTRAL – As many of you have probably noticed, there is a Gourmet food competition going on, where if your pet eats a food with a rarity from 90 to 100, it gets a point, and once you get so many points, you get a trophy. Well, I was interested in maybe starting my striped Shoyru on it, and I was looking at what some of the people fed their pets. To put it bluntly, I was disgusted. To name a few, there was Fish Ice Cream, Smelly Sardine Wrap, Asparagus with cheese – okay, so maybe Adam likes that, but still, it’s gross – various dinosaur limbs, and swill pudding. Don’t you think that’s just a little wrong, feeding your cute little pet a Neopet’s limb, or swill pudding, with a description of “Just like Jelly, only made from dirty river water” just for a trophy? It’s sick! The pet probably gets all bandaged and ill! Keep reading…

This op-ed appeared in Week 58 of the Neopian Times. It was my first ever published work–coming out when I was about 11 years old. In retrospect, I find it amusing that my first-ever piece was both nonfiction and written out of moral indignation. Notice also that I presupposed the Golden Rule (“Do unto others…”) as the basis of my moral argument. Check out this quote:

Anyway, let me lecture people now. All of you people who have fed your pet this garbage, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Ha! Sounds like a fire-and-brimstone preacher has lived inside me ever since I was a kid. Good thing that now she’s tempered with kindness. 🙂

Head over to the Neopian Times to read the entire op-ed.

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